IT'S COME AND GONE

Well, it (CHRISTmas) is finally over for another year. I am relieved and bored and perplexed and just a bit worried. Thank you Pi-day Dave for the crock pot and the electric sweeper. They are both really cool and I really like both of them. I am excited to try them both. I bought myself two books "An Inconvenient Book" by Glen Beck and "The Forgotten Man". I think it will be awhile before I finish them. Did any of the rest of you get the third installment of Moms book of family pictures? I talked to her on the phone on Christmas and she was worried that no one got them. I told her that I got mine, but she wonders if anyone else did. so if you have received yours in the mail or otherwise gotten it, will you please let her know. I love those books, I just wish that I and DH had more photos for her to use. I feel kind of like the left out or lost sheep, I have no children and nothing of note to show for my life. It is a really lonely feeling. When I'm gone who will even notice? When I am old and decrepit who will take care of me, or will I just be put in a home to molder my remaining years away? It is a unsettling thought. All I do is work and then come home and take care of Raymond and the pets. Work, feed people and others, do what little chores I have energy for, sleep or rather TRY to sleep) and start over again the next day. Oh I forgot I also try to pay everything , at least a little of it, every paycheck. I got up today at 5:30 A.M. to get ready for work. I sat down in my chair in the living room with my toast and Dr Pepper, no caffeine in it, set my breakfast on the table, bowed my head to say a blessing. Next thing I know it is 9:00 A.M. Whaaat? So much for getting to work at 7:00! I called in and said I wasn't coming in today. We have been super busy before Christmas and even have been getting overtime. Now we don't have anything to do. Yesterday K and I cleaned out the lockers(Fridges) and did dishes, We both left at noon. Today we had a little more to do inasmuch as we had to make 2# of honey butter. Like that will take 2 people 8 hours to do. We can use vacation hours if we want to, because we only need to come in when needed and we can leave when done. I am not going in tomorrow either. I am worried about my job status however because I have no Vacation time left at the moment, so I will not get any pay for the days I don't come in or for the hours that I do not work. I will get holiday pay however. But there is not enough work for eight hours a day. I don't think anyone is coming in tomorrow. I am a worry wart, so I think I will get the reputation as a lazy person that has no work ethic and thus be fired for not working my full 8 hours a day during these slow days until January 2nd. This is far from the truth, but I am not as willing to work myself to exhaustion as I once was, it has never gotten me anywhere but sick. It is a pain to live my life as a drudge without any acknowledgment of my slaving away or any advancement or rarely even any compliments.
I really have a sleep problem, today after the falling asleep fiasco at breakfast I still slept until around 12:00 noon. I then revived enough to get dressed and take out the garbage and retrieve the newspaper and mail. I then fried us up a steak (not a very tender one) and zapped a couple of potatoes. I really didn't get energy until about 5:00 or 6:00 P.M. This is not an uncommon sleep pattern for me. I am now wide awake an energized. but it is after midnight. Why does this happen? Something must be wrong with me. I have always been a night owl but it is getting worse. I like to be awake late at night, but I have no desire to be anywhere but in the house at this time of night,. A night owl, but not a party person. sigh! I am sorry that this missive may be a little (or even a lot gloomy Gusish, but I do not have anyone else to talk to so unfortunately you poor folks get the fallout. I hope I can be a little more cheerful next time.